Kissing or Crimefighting?
by justincbenedict
Summary: Bruce wants Cat to help him wipe out drugs at his private school. Cat wants Bruce to focus on more basic interests, y'know?
1. Chapter 1

SELINA'S CONTINUALLY AMUSED

As they sat on top of the high brick wall of Mornington Academy, Cat watched Bruce soberly eat his lunch, before her gaze passed over the little preppies spread across the quadrangle flanking the school.

Alfred didn't approve of Bruce's friendship with Selina, so they met once a week and had a little lunch...here at school. Why was Bruce in such a ditzy place? Kid was brilliant, Cat thought...he'd skipped second, fifth and ninth grades, and only attended school for "socialization" really just to please that pre-senile butler.

Bruce looked at Selina as he chewed his hoagie. "There's a problem here at school. I was wondering if-"

Cat snorted, her curls bouncing in her little hood. "There's always somethin' for you to solve, isn't there? What kind of problem? Do you ever just chill?"

Bruce cocked his head at the girl. "Chill?" He looked around. "It's almost May."

Selina rolled her enormous green eyes, noting casually the reaction of Gotham's young billionaire. He's into me. Oh yeah. Well, maybe.

Bruce began again. "Selina, there's a serious drug problem here at Mornington." He primly wiped his mouth with a monogrammed hankie. "I saw two boys in the restroom this morning huddled together, and the whole john smelled of-"

"What, weed? That's no big deal, Brucie..."

"No, it had a different smell. And I saw one of them drop a tiny white speck of something on the floor."

Selina stretched, again enjoying Bruce's pubescent focus. Why did the kid have to solve all the world's problems? It was wearying how serious he was. On the other hand, yes, there was a rock cocaine problem at all the schools.

Down in Colonel Ezekiel Gotham Park, where Cat occasionally went to sell her own purloined items, she'd seen boys and girls in the Mornington uniform bringing their Ipads, Mommy's pearls, and other stuff to trade, but not for cash...only that white powder...it was sad, the children of crack.

"I've got to get back to class, Cat." Bruce said. "Can you find me the name of whoever it is who is supplying crack here? It's a big favor, I know..."

Selina smiled, watching her friend slide down from the wall. "Yeah, but you'll have to kiss me..." Then, watching his preadolescent eyes goggle, she snickered, and exited the opposite side.


	2. Chapter 2

SMALL BUSINESSES AND THEIR MYSTERIES

The Druid could have sought royalty in his own sphere. Dru's brother Jason, known as "Jake the Snake" was warlord of the Brahmins, and there was megabucks and power in the Gotham Gardens project...but Druid, then a pudgy, bespectacled lad of thirteen, had found his niche after winning a half scholarship to Mornington Academy.

How to finance the other half with Mom on the needle and the fellow who possibly was Dru's dad doing a nickel-dime for aggravated assault in Blackgate? Now, Dru smiled at Taryn St. Leger, who was tearing up right in front of him, in the Druid's "office" in the Mornington boiler room.

"I'll...do whatever it takes." she said. "Remember, Dru? We had so much..fun. We can do more."

The Druid snorted inwardly, looking at Taryn's somewhat revolted expression at the idea of coupling again with the "Zit King of the Sixth Form". He'd really thought Tar was hot shit last term, but she'd gotten too old for him.

"No? You-you don't like me anymore?" Taryn gasped. "Couldn't you just give me a small rock on credit...I have Mummy's Platinum card. She won't let me take cash advances anymore after I got out of rehab, but we could buy something and hock it, please Druid."

"Taryn, you're starting to look a little gray." Druid said with a smirk that did not enhance his enormous cheekbones. "You owe me nearly two hundred dollars right now. And I'm sick of hocking your mom's shit, I need cash or favors."

"What kind of favor?" Taryn begged. Dru watched with pleasure as she sank on her knees in the musty boiler room, her pleated uniform skirt covering her knees.

"I wouldn't wipe my snot off with you, but I have a friend who would enjoy a dalliance with a sixteen year old...Dalliance is another word for booty call."

God, these kids are STUPID. Was it the drugs that made them that way? The Druid had never used drugs. He was probably the only kid in the Gotham Gardens projects who didn't, but you'd think these rich little shit-bags would know better.

Dru had spent a lonely childhood hiding from predators and reading tons of books...he knew where the money was, and wanted so much to be like the privileged upper classes in "The Ambassadors" by Henry James, or Edith Wharton's "Age of Innocence"

Why do they need to get high?

"Who is this uh, guy who wants a booty call?" Taryn was crying slightly. Two terms ago, before meeting Druid, she'd been a gymnast, a National Merit Scholar...and now just a nasty little mess.

"My friend's name is Ozzy...some call him The Penguin. If you go to his house on the corner of Lombard and 38th Avenue at 8:30 tonight, he'll give you enough rocks to last you through the weekend. Be sure to tell him I sent you."

"I've seen that guy-Oswald Cobblepot-in the papers. He's disgusting!"

"No, Taryn, you're disgusting. Everyone is talking about how the point guard on the Mornington Marauders gave you Chlamydia because you were so desperate for freebase. Here's a little rock for you. But if you aren't at Penguin's at 8:30, it'll be your last!"

After the sobbing girl left the boiler room, the Druid coughed and wiped his eyes. He'd gotten them lasered, no more mended aviator specs, and his teeth straightened and capped...

and he was losing a few pounds a week since he'd gotten an expensive lipo operation...the Druid now drove a Lexus and was the only senior with his own apartment in trendy Bludhaven Heights... it was all from the proceeds of that amazing powder.

"You are such a creep."

Druid, annoyed that his reverie was being interrupted, cocked his head at the little twerp standing in the door of the boiler room. Oh wait. Tommy Elliot, one of Dru's best customers, had pointed this one out. Bruce Wayne.

"Are you here for some medication, kid? You're not the flattering type, are you?"

Although Druid was now seventeen, he actually wasn't much taller than the kid in the doorway. Was the kid going to jack him? Why would Bruce Wayne need free drugs?

"You've got to stop selling crack here. You're fouling up the school, Druid." The kid paused. "If you don't-I'm going to have to-"

But that was conversation enough. Miguel Chauca, Jr., who Dru had assisted in getting a position as custodian at Mornington, despite his deplorable record, arose from his chair on the other side of the room.

Druid waved his hand "Get the little guy out of here, Miggs. He's a drag."

That there was an actual scuffle, surprised Dru considerably. Miguel had usually been able to collect debts and kick other dealer's asses...but as he reached for the kid, young Bruce-ooh, right in the balls, what a kick!

And then, as Miggs bent over dealt with his aching testes, Gotham's 12-year-old billionaire bashed his little head into the sufferer's nose, before stomping his little foot down on the other's knee...

Bruce watched Miguel fall, and then turned to Druid once more. But Dru had pulled out a Glock with-a silencer.

As the boy left the boiler room, Druid sighed. This one might be trouble around the way...I'll have to call Ozzie after he's finished with Taryn, what?


	3. Chapter 3

JUST REPREHENSIBLE

Alfred gazed across the disgusting Formica table at Selina Kyle, who was mouthing silently...back at him something about being "So gay".

"FOLLOW ME...FOLLOW ME TO FUN..."

So loud? Were any of the fish and chips places this bleedin' noisy?

"TAKE A BITE, TAKE A SIP!"

Was the giant rat coming back to dance? Whoever Chuck E. Cheese was, he deserved to lose his restaurant license. Everywhere in this establishment, it seemed that there were howling brats, tossing pizza bits, clamoring for more root beer.

And the little minx stared back at him with a smile on her face. She doesn't like it here either, Alfred thought.

Selina "Cat" Kyle had stayed for only a short time at Wayne Manor, as a favor to Jim Gordon, but much as he disliked her, Alfred had never perceived her as being an immature toddler...she couldn't be more than thirteen, though those eyes were so old...what had they seen?

Why would she want to come to this ghastly place?

She asked us to meet her here because I-and Master Bruce, are both rather straight-laced. It's torture.

"Mama, I want to play another GAME! I don't WANNA go home!"

Alfred smiled gamely at Miss Kyle, who clearly was hiding her smile behind a gloved paw.

Master Bruce returned from the loo and sat down.

"How are you enjoying your Pretzel Dog, Alfred?" he asked considerately.

"Splendid, Master Bruce. Really." Alfred had to get out of here without cutting his wrists.

"So Selina, you know I want you to help me with the drug problem at Mornington, and Alfred and I agreed that you might be able to investigate if you were undercover."

That was most certainly NOT what Alfred had agreed to. Gor blimey, one of the little nippers near the door had discarded his ah, nappie and-merciful heavens.

Although Master Bruce had been a joy to raise, what the children of the Colonies needed was regular and vigorous use of the cane. Alfred noticed Selina chortling again and gritted his teeth.

Alfred noted with dismay that Master Bruce had stopped speaking, and was running a trembling tongue between his lips.

Oh no. Not that nonsense again. This had been a problem back at Wayne Manor-not in the dining room, where the table was nice and long, but in the kitchen.

Alfred noted Miss Kyle's face. She had that smile, and she seemed to be moving about in her chair, which Alfred knew from bitter experience meant that she had pulled her right foot from the boot, and was attempting to explore Master Bruce's ah...

Smiling blandly, Alfred shifted his seat a bit to the right and moved his own leg under the table until he felt it touch the smaller, reaching one, and he kicked it sharply.

Ah yes. pout my dear. A bit of footsie can amuse during university days, Alfred had gotten more than his share from Cockney barmaids...but rushing Master Bruce's puberty was a no-no.

Master Bruce's face was a combination of relief and disappointment. But he was able to return to the polite conversation.

"MAMA! MAKE THE RAT COME BACK AND SING MY BIRTHDAY SONG! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOT MY-"

I could emigrate back to Cheapside, Alfred thought fervently. There weren't many children in Cheapside, from what he remembered.

"So, we were thinking we could enroll you at Mornington as a student." Bruce said pleasantly.

As Alfred had hoped, Cat recoiled. Her jaw dropped, and she rolled the eyes.

Alfred kept from smiling by tonguing his inner cheek. In a moment she'll tell Master Bruce to go to the devil and stalk out of here, and we can go home.

"C'mon, Selina, I know you could do the work." Bruce said persuasively. "The academics are easy. "

"I WANT HIM TO SING THE JASPER SONG! TELL HIM DADDY!"

You already speak French and Spanish, and when you stayed with us, you helped me with my math homework...and you love books! We have a great Comparative Literature teacher there. And the chairman of the Classics Department-"

"TANYA, DON'T THROW BREAD AT YOUR BROTHER! DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU A TIME OUT?"

"No no..." Selina said, standing. She raised her voice over the juvenile uproar around her. "I haven't been in school since I split the orphanage in about fifth grade. Forget it."

Bruce took Selina's hand and looked up at her earnestly with his deep eyes. Alfred remembered Master Thomas Wayne being the same way, when he'd talked Alfred into agreeing to be Master Bruce's godfather and legal guardian in case of-well, the horrible thing that had happened.

Selina sat back down, and she smiled at Master Bruce. Alfred watched the boy's face glow. He couldn't quite hate this urchin-she brought a bit of pleasure to Bruce, and that meant a great deal. But better in public places like this one, we didn't want new and illegitimate heirs to Wayne Enterprises, what?

"Selina, you could just go to school with me for a short time. After the drug thing is worked out, and this guy Druid taken down, you can go do whatever you want. And it would be kind of fun. I don't have a lot of um, friends there."

"Aw, it's just because you're such a little snot. I've seen those rich, slutty little hosebags lookin' at you-"

"MISS KYLE! Could you moderate your language a bit?" Alfred then turned to the boy. "Don't you see, sir, she really wouldn't fit in, and the drug problem at Mornington isn't going to affect you, if you stay out of the bad crowds."

That was probably Alfred's mistake. The perverse little bird must've changed her mind, just to plague him...

Later on that evening, after they'd gone uniform-shopping for her, and Alfred had issued a check to the school (a big enough one stifled the headmaster's queries) he wondered how he fell into these peculiar situations.

At least the one problem wasn't going to be there. Selina didn't want to live at the Manor while she was attending Mornington, despite Bruce's entreaties.

On the other hand, Alfred still couldn't get the damnable Chuck E. Cheese horseradish sauce out of his stiff collar!


	4. Chapter 4

[Thanks for the support, to all the readers. I have written several Batman and Robin stories, mostly based on the comic books. This is my first "Gotham" story...but check out the other stuff I've done. Especially "Son of the Joker" and "Robin at Brentwood" "The Black Mask and the Big Beautiful Woman" (Nightwing story) and the others.

IT AIN'T LIKE THE OLD DAYS

Gordon moved uncomfortably around the crowd of detectives, weeping students, and other clutter surrounding Horace "Hoss" Caffyn's stiffening body on the Mornington Academy track.

Gordon had run track for Gotham Western High, and they'd competed against the "Mornies", but fierce as the rivalry was (James "Jackrabbit" Gordon had been a front runner) there had never been drug abuse...and that was the eighties, when all the designer drugs had been around.

But Ed Nygma had just looked up and confirmed that Hoss Caffyn had been taking equipoise, and had collapsed during his first sprint. Caffyn's parents had been led away by Harvey Bullock, but they were mystified...Hoss hadn't gone to a doctor to get these prescribed.

Dr. Paget, the assistant Headmaster nudged Gordon. "I just can't understand it. All sorts of drugs seem to have sprouted here recently, and we just suffered the most peculiar spate of robberies as well."

Gordon cocked his head. "Did you report it, Dr. Paget?"

"The robberies? Well, no. In one week Ipads, Iphones, a biology teacher's diamond engagement ring, and cash from at least a dozen lockers disappeared, and then an envelope-big yellow thing- showed up in the Dean of Discipline's office, with everything returned and a typed note of apology. It was a pain in the ass figuring out whose cash was whose...since it was all lumped together-but very,very strange."

Gordon bit his tongue. He'd seen an unlikely new student in the bleachers of this track meet-Selina Kyle. How she'd gotten into Mornington was a mystery. The disappearance of the valuables could clearly be her work, but who would make her return them?"

"Detective Gordon?"

Gordon looked down, and there was young Bruce Wayne, smiling up at him. Gordon had heard from Alfred that Bruce had begun running, but the boy wasn't in track clothes...

"Are you a miler here? I understand you're pretty fast." I'm not going to bring up why I'm here, the kid can see Caffyn's body, and he's had enough murder talk to last him, Gordon thought.

"No, I'm just running and working out at home."

"You might snag a few trophies, Bruce. You have enough sense not to take anabolic steroids, like ..." But Gordon couldn't even gesture to the sixteen year old dead boy.

Gordon coughed, and continued. "I hear from Alfred that you have been taking boxing and some martial arts...I think they have a Golden Gloves group here at Mornington."

"I-I know, but I don't want to bring a lot of attention to myself." Bruce grinned awkwardly. "I'm kinda keeping it private about my workouts for now."

Gordon scratched his chin. The boy needs a father. Alfred's doing the best he can, but Bruce really needs a loving dad. Jim Gordon's dad had been a great father, and had spoiled Jim with attention, if not money. There hadn't been much of that.

"I think I know who may be selling the jocks steroids." Bruce said hesitantly. "But it might be hard to prove."

"Yes, and that's the rub, Bruce." Gordon said with a rueful smile. "I'm sure I know one major trafficker here...the kid they call the Druid. "

Gordon watched Bruce turn his head and look at the fat boy sitting on a nearby bench, lustily consuming Kung Pao Chicken out of a little white box.

"You know? You should arrest him..." Bruce's face paled. "Soon!"

"I have no proof, Bruce, and when I took it up with the administration here, I got the impression that the Druid carries a lot of influence. "

Gordon loved how Bruce, unlike many adolescents, really listened, and looked at you when you were talking. He continued, almost forgetting the dead boy and the parents, cops and other kids.

" The Druid started out as a scholarship student, and is very bright, but he has something going on. No one in the headmaster's office would discuss with me the idea of transferring him to another school, and of course they forbade me to search his locker."

Gordon remembered how Sid Solozzo, a defense attorney out of Bludhaven, had shown up at the police station and filed a harassment report with Captain Essen before she died. The kid had a lot of power.

"The problem is, Bruce, sometimes cops hands are tied. And there's not much anyone can do. It's a shame because heroin, cocaine, and a panoply of other drugs are moving through Mornington as well as six other private schools, and I think a lot of it is due to the fat little Druid."

Gordon noticed curly hair and enormous green eyes approaching, and then she whistled, and Bruce patted Gordon's arm. "I gotta go talk to Selina...but you never know what can happen. Druid may, you know, have a comeuppance."

Gordon chuckled as Bruce scuttled off to join the pretty girl...but no,no...she's putting her hand on his ASS?


	5. Chapter 5

LOVELL RABY-NEWCOMBE NEGOTIATES

The Druid smiled at Dr. Raby-Newcombe...he apparently was enjoying "office hours"

"I remember Lower School Ski Trip...a couple of the big boys-Fourth Formers? I was still in Third?-let some of the girls in to where I was showering? And then they flicked towels at me threw me out into the snow naked and pelted me with snowballs...and you, the chaperone, my ostensible protector, laughed and told me not to be a baby, to be a good sport."

Lovell sweated. He tried to grin. "Well, Dru, sometimes-that is to say-you've come a long way."

The Druid bestowed a pudgy grin on his Trig teacher. "Well, the worm seems to have turned." Dru paused, suckling a giant Mr. Goodbar. "Yes, Dr. Raby-Newcombe, I remember hearing you tell pretty Miss Cranleigh that you despised fat little scholarship students who wore discount Toughskins jeans."

Druid paused and looked at the sweating Englishman.

"I don't think much of Limey degenerate gamblers either, you know. What? Wanna give me some demerits for insolence?"

Dr. Lovell Raby-Newcombe, mathematics master of Mornington Academy looked dispiritedly at the evil little slug sitting opposite his desk. The little sonovabitch has all this power now. And no one can get him out of our school.

Lovell had heard about the photos of the Headmaster and that Campfire Girl nonsense... The Head was essentially the Druid's puppet now. Puppet of an obese, flatulent seventeen year old.

And also, Smythe had gotten into a bit of nose candy from this little bastard, and had forked over a copy of the French Lit final. Not that the Druid needed it for himself, but he'd gotten into the whole term paper bizney.

Several of the staff had gotten under this sick kid's spell for one reason or another. The track coach had quit shortly after Caffyn, the star runner's death, and then the school chaplain had committed suicide, or at least found dead with a needle in his arm. Not heroin, either, but Prolixin, the drug they called "bam" The CHAPLAIN for God's sake...a minister!

Dave Purkiss had made the hideous mistake of buying Percs and Oxycontins from the Druid, and had, last term, been supplanting his paycheck as art instructor by selling plasma...he'd eventually been fired, and just yesterday, Lovell had seen Dave with a big sign on Highway 94 begging for change.

Miss Cranleigh, the icy blonde registrar, had gotten so in debt to the Druid for the various pills and powders purveyed, that she'd actually let the tubby little punk take her to a motel to strip her down whip her with his belt-and he'd put it on Youtube.

And so Lovell had kept his distance from the little Satan ever since the brat arrived back in Second Form-(except, of course for the lamentable Ski Trip) but then, after Lovell's brilliant "system" had failed yet again at the roulette wheel down in the Narrows...

Lovell been roughed up for owing a bit too much...the fact that Lovell couldn't be blackmailed and was a lifelong teetotaler to say nothing of being drug free didn't matter-everyone has their weakness.

And then the Druid had actually approached him! How had he known? Do kids that age get involved in the big-time underworld? I thought he was just a drug dealer...and blackmailer...but he'd known.

"I can help you out, Doc." And then the Druid had lent Lovell the money, and of course Lovell had returned to the roulette wheel...and owed more money.

Now, the Druid grinned at Dr. Raby-Newcombe, showing off his expensively capped teeth. When the little shit got here in seventh grade, most of his fangs were blackened or missing, but look at him now!

"About the Precalculus Exam, Doc."

As -Newcombe dispiritedly began going through the papers on his desk, the fat boy stopped him.

"No, not here. I need the one you are testing your students at the community college night school on. Remember, you hadda take on more work after you'd pawned your wife's gold coin collection and emptied the IRA's to feed Falcone's casino?"

Lovell looked haggard. "I-I- Druid, I can't get away with you and exam tales at the night school...It's different here. You have to-"

Druid snorted. "What? I have to be reasonable? I have to be tolerant? Like when Sugden Minor and his boys threw a vat of spaghetti sauce on me 'cause I am Italian-American...the little dago boy has to be patient?" Dru shrugged his shoulders.

Lovell tried to smile. "I know you were disappointed that those boys weren't disciplined. But Sugden's grandfather donated our gymnasium-"

Dru snorted. "Yup, and forked out a nice service for Suggie' after the boy's untimely death when his Lexus exploded. Look here, Doc. You owe-and this is after I covered your other debts-the Penguin twelve grand with thirty percent vigorish.

Dr. Raby-Newcombe wiped his brow. "I'll have to go to my car for the college tests."

Again, the fat boy smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

THE DOPINESS OF GIRLS, SOMETIMES

"Bruce!"

Bruce Wayne turned around, stopping as he was crossing the quadrangle. Silver St. Cloud was waving and walking up to him. She was a neat girl.

"You didn't stop to say hi! I wanted to thank you after the help you gave me on the Hamlet test thingie." Straight teeth...she just knows how to grin at a guy.

"Well, I didn't want to bother you, you were so busy talking to Skimpole and Chilton and Blenkinsop. Jesus, Craig Blenkinsop was like, drooling on your Jimmy Choos."

"Oh those guys are just dorky. I can't believe you know what kind of shoes I wear."

"My mom wore them." Bruce thought of his mother, getting ready for the night they'd gone to the opera. She'd been so totally...

"Hello, Bruce, back to Earth" Silver touched Bruce's elbow, and he quickly re-focused on her pink sweater, which looked like it might be a little small for her.

Silver toyed with her long blond hair and twitched her nose a little. "So you're having a good day?"

"Uh, I guess, yeah." God I sound retarded, Bruce thought. She makes it hard for me to focus.

"I was thinking that Alfred could take us to get some ice cream or something."

Silver was standing real close...her hair smelled AMAZING.

"Um, right now, Alfred's not taking me to and from school. I'm running back and forth, just...working out." Boy, that sounded brilliant. Wayne, what the hell's wrong with you? But Silver kept smiling.

"We could run a little together. I brought my purple Nikes. They're really cute. We could run to the smoothie place at the corner of Hood and Vane."

Bruce found himself nodding. He could tell Alfred he'd be a little late. It's so cute the way she plays with her hair. I need to make new friends at school anyway.

Suddenly Silver was waving to someone else, a fat boy who was getting into a cherry red Maserati. "Hi Druid!"

Oh creep me out.

Silver saw Bruce's face and stroked his cheek reassuringly. "Druid's just a nice friend. He drove me home last week, and he has XM radio."

"The guy's bad news, Silver. Really bad."

"I don't want to talk about Dru. I want a smoothie and to do some RUNNING."

Silver ran a pink tongue across her lips. Bruce wondered if he could have a heart attack at age twelve.

"See, cutie, I'm all ready to sprint."

As Bruce and a number of boys on the quad watched, Silver undid her uniform skirt to reveal long legs in a very snug pair of lavender shorts. She stepped out of her Jimmy Choos and deposited them in a book bag, taking out her Nikes.

She must have tiny feet. How are her legs this tan-in February?

Craig Blenkinsop looked like he was coming over to talk to Silver again. Bruce should develop Geek Spray in the cave and sell it to the Raid company.

"Hey, Hamster-boy!"

Irritated, Bruce turned his head and saw Selina. She had taken to calling him "Hamster-Boy" just because in their plan to fight the drug plague at Mornington Academy, Bruce had suggested that he should wear some sort of costume, or at least cover his face. Selina, who thought she was hilarious, had suggested he go as "Hamster-Boy".

"What's up, Selina?" Bruce thought Selina was really doing well since she'd begun going to Mornington. She still had a problem with sticky fingers, but Bruce would get her out of that habit, if he had to police her 24 hours a day.

Silver was now talking to sweaty Blenkinsop (did she rub EVERYBODY'S arm?) and so Bruce walked up to Selina.

"Who's Daisy Mae over there?"

"Selina, you know Silver. She's in two classes that you're in, and I'm in."

"Cute how she strips down in the quad like that. Blenkinsop looks like he might swallow her. Or get her to swallow him." Selina began giggling.

Bruce could never figure out what was going on in Cat's mind. The other night they'd watched the old movie "Animal House" together, and when the cake in the parade came on the screen, reading "EAT ME" Selina had thought that was a riot, too.

"I thought you might want to come down to the Student Armory and look at something...might be a clue of how the Druid is getting this stuff in, and maybe paying off school security."

Selina's eyes widened, and her full lips moved slowly as she said "security". Bruce thought Selina was a lot of fun, but so rough around the edges. She didn't get a lot of stuff about his life that Silver seemed to understand. But Selina was really cool.

The other day, she'd shown Bruce how to swing from the Gotham Tower, bounce off a flagpole, and roll onto Harmon's Deli's awning without getting hurt.

"That might be good, Cat." Bruce said, focusing away from the dimple on Selina's chin. What was WRONG with him today? "We should-"

"Hey, Bruce. Ready for our run? I'm buying at the smoothie place. They have a Caribbean Way drink that would drive you wild."

Silver was smiling and Blenkinsop had wandered off, pissed. Such a TOOL.

"No, no you're going down to the Armory with me, right?"

Bruce looked at Selina. He thought about asking Silver to go with them to the Armory before the run, but he was keeping it quiet about his investigation.

"Silver, could you wait? Selina has to show me something-"

Silver shook her head. "No no...if you're not going to run with me, Craig said he will take me to the smoothie shop on his moped. He's very mature. Fourteen years old."

"Uh-"

"Hey, Hamster, if you want to go jogging with Bleach-head, go ahead. Shit, take her to Remedial Reading. Forget the stupid Armory."

Bruce looked baffled as Selina walked off, twitching her skirt. Her curls blew in the wind.

"No, we're just going running. You could run with us."

Bruce turned around again, and Silver's little butt was on the back of that idiot Blenkinsop's cycle. Silver gave Bruce a two fingered wave.

Bruce weakly waved back and turned around, to see Selina Kyle giving him a different gesture with one finger. as she walked backwards.

"You know, for someone who is turning thirteen next month, you're acting awfully immature-" Oh great, she's giving me two middle fingers. What is WRONG with the girls at this school?

God, girls are dopey, sometimes.


	7. Chapter 7

SELINA MAKES A NEW FRIEND

August, 2005

The little girl ran out of the tenement building, holding a swelling black eye. She saw her chubby seven year old brother sitting on the steps.

"Mister Maroni got up after his pumpin' Mama behin' the curtain, an' his tie-pin was missin' from his shirt." she said through her tears. "Now he ain't payin' Mama, an' he beat up her an' Jakey an' me, 'cos he thinks we got th' pin. I dunno what a tie pin even is."

From an upstairs window, the two children heard Maroni's screams of rage, and more hitting. There was a sound of breaking glass and thrown furniture.

The little boy looked at his sister blankly. She ran sobbing down the street.

From his jeans, the boy pulled the lapel pin, looking at it critically. It was old...could he pick his teeth with it? He looked again up at the window, now emitting his mother's anguished cries.

"I guess he ain't missed the cuff-links yet." the boy thought, and wandered down the street to the Narrows 7-Eleven.

February, 2015

The Druid enjoyed the smooth ride of his Maserati. It had been a birthday present to Mornington student Chetwyn of the Fifth Form from an indulgent relative; but Jamie Chetwyn's nostrils had different and more pressing needs, and now Dru had a new toy.

He'd seen Silver St. Cloud on the back of that idiot's moped, and had briefly considered running the cycle off the road, but that would make Dru look bad, and "ungentlemanly" Dru had read all the Jeeves books, and had been an inveterate watcher of public television since his preschool years, and was anxious to "move up" in the world.

His employer, Oswald Cobblepot, had recently purchased a pair of spats to wear over his shoes, and Dru thought that was really inspired.

The Penguin had referred his fat employee to his personal tailor, and now Dru actually possessed a suit made in Hong Kong with his name stitched on the inside of the jacket.

Who's this? A curly haired princess giving the finger to-oh, that little shit-bird Bruce Wayne. Mister "I police the bathrooms". Not only had young Wayne put paid to Miguel Chauca, Druid's tough guy, but he'd interrupted several drug sales with his nonsense jujitsu several times.

It was apparently clear to the schoolboy billionaire that Dru could get the Headmaster to excuse any behavior, the Head was well under Dru's thumb...

But if the kid wanted to kick asses it didn't make Dru's lieutenants, weaklings that they were, enthusiastic about trying to make a buck.

After all, even if you're getting three bills an hour for your efforts, if some little preppie shit kicks your teeth in, the dental bills will be much worse, eh?

But who is this pissed off little creature? Druid remembered her from somewhere, not from school here.

Dru slowed the car down and lowered his window to talk to Little Orphan Sexy here.

"Hey there...want a ride? You look a bit peeved right now."

The girl stopped and looked at Dru, crossing her arms under her perky mammaries.

"I don't take rides from drug-dealing dirtbags. And yeah, I am pissed off right now."

The Druid laughed. "I'd rather be a dirt-bag than a runny-nosed little douche bag...who makes a mistake of pissing off such a hot little firecracker."

Dru knew his lines weren't very good, but he counted on the car to do most of the work for him.

"Yeah? Yeah, I guess he is a douche bag. What he wants with a bleach blond skank like Slut Saint Cloud is...Jesus."

"Well, maybe he identifies with her more than people like us." Dru was slowly driving while the girl walked. He realized now where he'd seen her from.

"Like us? Pus-bag, where do you get off-"

"C'mon, I grew up in the Narrows...just like you. My brother's Jake the Snake...you ripped out his lip piercing once, because he called you a-"

The girl stopped, blessedly, and smiled. "Yes, your mouthy brother. Not so mouthy now. And you-you're who they call the Druid."

"Mother was in a Renaissance phase when she christened me. Probably to as an amends for fathering me with a gent she met at traffic school."

The girl grinned, involuntarily. "All right, I'll get in, but keep your pudgy little hands on the wheel."

Ecstasy!


	8. Chapter 8

UNCLE OSWALD, FROLICKSOME HOST

The Penguin sipped his Beefeater Martini and marveled. How had his nephew, the Druid, met up with Selina Kyle? But Selina hadn't mentioned that she and Uncle Oswald were acquainted, so best to take her cue at this curious dinner.

"Welcome to my house, Selina" Uncle Oswald said with a smile, toasting the two young people. "It's good that Dru is making such attractive friends. You should've seen him five years ago-seventy pounds heavier, rampant acne, thick glasses, two very obvious hearing aids, and one of his feet was shorter than the other, before I paid for a nice pair of orthopedic boots."

Druid smiled. "Yes, and Uncle Ozzy was the lap-dog to Fish Mooney, and used my brother and I as a sideline...we'd bring him whatever cheap crap we heisted, and he'd gyp us down to three percent of the price."

The fat boy winked at Selina. "Yup, necklace snatching on the subway, that kind of thing. And since Uncle O isn't much for violence, he'd have to get my brother and his gang, the Brahmins, to do a lot of enforcement, encouraging the debtors to pay back, that kind of thing. Not a big testosterone freak, Uncle Oswald, right?"

What a little smart-ass. The Penguin's eye passed over Selina's full curly hair and long lashes, and he wondered if Dru was hitting it. Somehow, the boy knew that his uncle was still an innocent in that part of life...Dru had taken great pleasure in rubbing it in when he'd lost his virginity.

Selina sipped her 7-Up in the crystal goblet, and watched boredly as the Penguin's footman re-filled it from an equally ornate decanter. She looked straight at her host and cocked her adorable head.

"So you must be who is supplying our little school with the happy pills, n' powder, Penguin? Moved up since I saw you last."

Druid looked a little stunned that Selina was so knowledgeable, but his uncle just smiled.

"And I'm interested in how you became a student at Mornington Academy, my dear. I knew you were a proficient burglar, but seventy grand a year is a lot of raids at Neiman-Marcus, isn't it?"

"Right. You had to go to P.S. 182, the Technical High school, didn't you, Penguin?" Selina snorted into her 7-Up. She lifted her eyes. "You didn't know that about your uncle, right, Druid? And then when your dad died, you hadda drop out of school and you had to wait tables in the cafeteria at Mornington, which is where they first called you the Penguin, for the way you carried the trays."

Dru's mouth dropped open.

"Yup. Back then, Mornington Academy was all male, and the rich boys weren't too nice to Oswald Cobblepot, and then one of them, an obnoxious coal heir, and captain of the Mornington polo team, Courtenay De Courcey would up beheaded in the stables.

DNA wasn't so sophisticated then, so though the cops and the headmaster liked Pengy for the murder, there was no proof, and then he slunk off to go into his little internship with Fish Mooney."

The Penguin recalled with some amusement, how he'd taken De Courcey's head away from the school and used it as a bowling ball. It had been so unfair. If he'd finished school, even at hideous PS 182, he might've had a shot at college.

And now this brat was going to private school on someone's dime, and rubbing his nose in the lost opportunities, and old felonies that had so far been unproven.

"She's got your number, Uncle!" Druid laughed and the Penguin watched in impotent rage...the chubby chins jiggling...if his nephew wasn't so useful...

"So you know, Penguin, I know a lot about you-and I guess you're trying to bring down the Mornington Academy in some kind of revenge. I'm totally in favor of it, too. The school's full of assholes, and as you know, I'm interested in making money, and also bringing it further down. "

The Druid shook his head. "Selina, you don't know the first thing about narcotics. And I've got the whole thing taken care of."

The Penguin laughed harshly. "Shut up, Druid. Since the Wayne brat has become interested in stopping the drug trade, your receipts have been lamentable. I'm practically ready to replace you. Tell me more, Miss Kyle."


	9. Chapter 9

SILVER AND SCALPEL, SORDID SIBLINGS

Silver St. Cloud left the Headmaster's office, pausing for just a minute to hear him weeping. Every time she had a little visit with the doddering old perv, he went through the same phases-lust, excitement, and then when they were done, remorse and shame.

"It's just that you're younger than my own daughter." Sure, but you always say that AFTER we have our moments, you creepy scumbag.

Silver had acquired, from the Headmaster, the keys and unlimited use of the chem lab. The Head had asked her not to interfere with Dr. Piggott's schedule, but since Silver had had Piggy licking her feet just the night before, that shouldn't be a problem, either.

Oooh. There's Bruce. Sweet Brucie. Had Bruce Wayne been Bruce Smith, Silver wouldn't have taken much interest in him.

Bruce was one of those twelve year olds who, you know, looked twelve. But, Uncle Theo, now the Mayor of Gotham City, had asked Silver to pay special attention to Bruce Wayne, and frankly, he wasn't as smelly or gropey as either the Headmaster or Piggy, the chemistry teacher.

"Hello, Silver, how are you?"

Bruce had the manners of a 1950s black-and-white movie detective. In a way it was charming, none of this "Hey babe, 'sup?" but Silver did find it a bit disconcerting.

"Bruce! Haven't seen you in ages!" She hugged him, and swirled her long blond waterfall around his face.

"W-well, we did something yesterday." Bruce looked surprised. "Ice skating."

So literal. The flirting abilities of a passive frog.

"Oh, silly, I just meant that I missed you, I hadn't seen you. I really liked sitting with you after the ice skating, in the back of Alfred's big car."

Bruce blushed, saying tentatively, "I think Alfred was a little uncomfortable with how we were um, horsing around back there. He doesn't usually press the button to make his little screen go up."

That was funny. The chauffer could make a glass thing go up so the people in back had privacy, and Silver had been amused by how foggy the glass had gotten. She could tell that Bruce was wearing his collar up to cover the hickey she'd given him.

"So, did you hear? No one has seen Pam Vavasour for almost eight days. You know, we have her in World Cultures class, but she's actually in a higher Form."

Silver bit her full lower lip. No laughing, you bad girl.

"Well, Bruce" she said carefully, "Pam probably ran off with a boyfriend or something. Girls can be wild, you know." She winked, and Bruce blushed again.

But then he recovered himself. "I don't think so, Silver. Pamela is kind of studious, and she is a little plain."

You could say that again. Homely as a mud hen. Buck teeth, watery eyes, and at least a size 15. But it had been easy for Scalpel to get the uggo to climb into his truck. Scal did have a way with the ladies.

"Well, I have to get to Bio now." Bruce said a little sadly. Jesus, he's like a guinea pig or something. And I'm the snake. Oooeey.

"Oh, Christ. There's Selina, and she's hanging out with that fat drug lord."

"Pisses you off?"

"Language, Silver. You have to watch your mouth. This is school. But yes, I am a little annoyed. I don't think he's a good influence on her."

"I would just give her a wide berth, Bruce, I heard she has the clap."

"The what?"

"Syphilis. And maybe HPV too." Silver paused. Don't sound too sure. "I don't know, exactly, I heard the school nurse talking to the Headmaster or something."

"Yes, I just saw you coming out of his office."

"I was asking about new clubs and student social stuff. The Headmaster was very kind." After he got his face out from under my skirt.

Silver paused and looked at Bruce earnestly. "But please don't tell anyone what I heard from the school nurse about Selina's diseases. I don't want to ruin my friendship with her."

"I didn't know you guys were friends." Bruce paused. "I kinda thought you didn't really, uh, connect."

"Well, being as I'm a born-again Christian, I can't really hang out with certain people, but I try to minister to some who I think have potential, like Selina. But you should probably stay away because she might be a little manipulative. It's pretty clear that if she's hanging out with the Druid..."

Silver left Bruce somewhat bewildered as she sashayed down the hall. Some men have to be played like a chess game, but the guys in this school are seriously Candyland.

As she mounted the staircase to get to Study Hall, she heard a hiss. And there he was! Her handsome half-brother Skegness "Scalpel" St. Cloud.

"You shouldn't be wearing the uniform, Scalpel. You don't go here. You're like twenty years old. Did Uncle Theo-"

"No he didn't enroll me, but I thought the uniform would make me look invisible around here. People might notice if I walked around in my Black Sabbath T-shirt."

"God, what ancient musical taste you have. Here's the key to the chemistry lab."

"Excellent. I have Pamela Vavasour on ice in the truck."

"Wait, is she dead? I thought you were just going to take one kidney."

"No...see, then she comes around and can tell the cops stuff. I'm going for both kidneys, and corneas and whatever else is salable."

"Salable?"

"Worth something, you little bimbo. If you didn't service all your teachers you probably would be put back in third grade."

"I just didn't know this would be um, so final."

"Well, Uncle Theo needs money, and healthy young organ donors are very useful. Seriously, he has to pay for all those political ads. But maybe I should get the next one from the public schools. Except, they're probably drug-riddled and fulla venereal disease."

"Whatever. Take the keys, and leave me out of it."


	10. Chapter 10

[According to Wikipedia, the school that Bruce Wayne goes to is called "Anders Preparatory" not "Mornington" but since I started out, it's probably too late to change now. Other than that, hope this is readable]

THE MAYOR'S FILES

Mayor Galavan cocked his head, as he listened to Tabitha's report. Galavan had imported his oldest sister's children here to assist his ambitions...the vicious twins Skegness "Scalpel" St. Cloud, his brother, Sterling "Scythe" St. Cloud, and of course their twelve year old daughter, Silver.

Scalpel and Scythe had been involved in the Organs Resale Project, and Silver had, that morning, asked the boys to grab Selina "Cat" Kyle, a Mornington student, and make use of her organs, as she'd been an annoyance.

Apparently, Scythe had gotten out of the truck to grab Miss Kyle and discovered the girl a bit of a kick-boxing gymnast. Scythe, now in traction and minus his right eye at Gotham General Hospital, would be going home to Mama in Wisconsin for some time.

Tabitha smiled ruefully. "The good news is, Scalpel is still at work. We sold the Vavasour girl's corneas to a buyer in Kazakhstan for five hundred thousand, and the right kidney is being shipped to a buyer in Manhattan as we speak."

The Mayor shook his head. Shame about his nephew, but perhaps greater measures could be used against Miss Kyle. But of course his big interest was in eventually ending the life of Bruce Wayne, who was the last surviving Wayne... to avenge the Dumas family, now of course called Galavan.

"The other good news is, of course that Scalpel was able to drive off in the truck when he saw that his brother was having difficulties. Scal called an ambulance as he correctly assumed that Miss Kyle would probably leave Scythe unconscious.

And since then, Scalpel has taken two more "donors" to the chemistry lab in the basement of the school. As they are both Mornington students, I think he should probably stop there, and go after other people."

"Oh, I don't know, Tabitha." The Mayor said, smiling. "We could use a few less of those rich little shits."

Tabitha shook her head, realizing that her brother's rage was affecting his judgment.

"It's great, though, Tabitha, that Scalpel is still free...he's got a talent for dismembering bodies and preserving organs...shame he couldn't go to medical school."

"Yes, Theo, but no med school will accept a tenth grade dropout who's spent a decade in reformatories and mental hospitals. You'll pay him as well as any doctor, anyway, I think."

"Tabby, how is ex-Mayor James?"

Tabitha grinned. "He's playing chess in the cellar of our house with that other idiot, one-eyed Sid Bunderslaw. Tell me when you want to kill them, their kidneys, though aged, can still bring in something, right?"

"Of course. Now get out of here. I have to prepare my State of the City speech about declining moral values...the Republicans are waiting for me."


	11. Chapter 11

WHO WILL KILL THE WHITE OWL?

[From the "Gotham Gazette"]

In the wake of missing Mornington Academy students Pamela Vavasour, Michael Gadsby and Taryn Mellish, violent attacks on students have also been reported at Gotham's oldest private school.

Mornington's security chief , Dunstan Knox, told this journalist that a hooded person of indeterminate age had attacked students congregating in a third floor bathroom, in the Student Lounge, and also in the back of the school gymnasium. "Seven kids have been hospitalized, one with a nearly broken jaw." Knox reported.

No Mornington teachers or administration gave any comment, but police detective Harvey Bullock made a cursory investigation, and reported that in all three areas, miniscule bags containing the remnants of crack cocaine had been discarded, as well as a loose Dilaudid tablet, a synthetic opiate.

"This masked dude, one of the girls said his hood was so primitive and wrinkled, it looked like a white owl head, he apparently was interrupting drug deals. The kids that were attacked, several of them have lengthily drug-related records and are associates of another Mornington student, known as the Druid."

Bullock could not reveal names, as all the students were underage, but applauded the White Owl's vigilantism. "See, the school administration has made it incredibly difficult for the department-for any of our detectives to investigate drug use or sales, for some reason. The White Owl, he's doing a good job if he can break up any more drug deals, he's personally got my blessing, you know?"

The "White Owl" has been described as about five foot four, wearing a crumpled egg-shell colored hood and a black jogging suit.

"The guy's a lunatic, and from what I can see, is some kinda judo type." Security Chief Knox reported. "I don't like people trying to do my job, and this fella, thinks he's Zorro or something, is nothing but trouble."

Bullock, who heard Chief Knox's reports, laughed. "Knoxie, you're still the shmuck we kicked off the force in '05. If you don't let the cops onto the school grounds to investigate the drug traffic, to say nothin' of the disappearing students, how the h_l can we go after your vigilante?"

Security Chief Knox's reply was-"

The Druid crushed the "Gazette" and looked around the quadrangle. What a pain in the ass all this was. Disappearing students? They probably went to the beach for a week, though from what Dru knew of the three, they had nothing in common, and probably didn't know each other. A fat honor student, a bleached blond pom-pom born-again Christian girl, and the geeky vice-president of the school's Dungeons and Dragons club.

Still, it was bringing a lot of attention to Mornington, and of course this White Owl psycho was-oh, if only Dru could get after him! But he was some sort of monkey, climbing up the side of the school building and coming in the lavatory window, and kicking Shane Lazenby's teeth in, just as a sale was going down.

And then, in the gym, the White Owl had snapped Harris's wrist as Harris was about to stab him, and since then, four of Dru's other lieutenants quit on him...too risky.

On the other hand, Dru had spent the night with Selina, and although she hadn't let him go all the way, they'd had quite a time. She's a bright one. Not a drug user, which the Druid really respected, having never used drugs himself.

The Druid looked up, and there was that little palefaced weasel, Bruce Wayne, sitting on a wall, staring. He's staring right at me. Poor kid, I scared him off from his anti-drug preaching when I pointed the Glock at him.

It usually works for most assholes that get in the way. But if only to point it at the White Owl...and pull the trigger.

The Druid scratched his nose. His free period, and apparenltly also Wayne's, was almost over. Time to get to Greek, check out Aristophanes. Lazily, Dru looked across the street, and a truck that looked like it had once been a moving van pulled up and the driver was chatting to one of the Fifth Form girls...she got in.

Whatever. Don't these kids realize with all the disappearing students, you might want to be wary? But then again, Dru had been raised around constant violence and tragedy for nearly his entire life...till he'd gotten the nice condo across town. These rich airheads deserved whatever they got, right?


	12. Chapter 12

GORDON HASHES IT OUT

"Could the White Owl be Selina?" Jim asked Leslie Thompkins. Sometimes it was hard to focus on work, as he felt a bit weak in the knees when staring at his dark haired, full lipped and quite brilliant girlfriend.

Leslie mused over her Frappucino. "Well, Selina is a bit of a martial artist-a wildcat as it were, and she can certainly climb the side of a building."

Gordon sipped his decaf. "Yeah, and Selina's enrolled at Mornington Academy, from what I understand on Bruce Wayne's dime. I never thought I'd be encouraging such a friendship when I had Alfred put her up at the uh, Manor."

Leslie smiled at Gordon's internal wrestle of the Gotham class system. "Well, what do we know, Jim? The so-called White Owl is short, and slight, but can simultaneously kick some ass with these drug-dealing preppie boys."

Gordon cocked his head. "But see, this scummy kid they call the Druid, he has the services of his brother's motorcycle gang-the Brahmins. They are grown ex-cons in their twenties and thirties, and the White Owl, if in fact she is Selina, isn't going to be able to deal with ten of them, when she's used to beating up adolescent boys."

Leslie looked worried. "But wait, don't you think the Brahmins will have a hard time getting into the academy doors? They'd stand out, wouldn't they?"

"Leslie, the head of security, he's a former Gotham PD, and was fired for being too corrupt. Do you know how hard that is to do in Gotham? All the cops are bad-"

"Except you and Harvey-"

"Well, and a few more. We have about twenty good cops now. But five years ago, the whole department was soiled, and Knoxie was so bad that he was thrown out, and miraculously got a gig at Mornington, although there was some creepy rumor that Knoxie had helped the Mornington Headmaster hush up some rumors of molesting girl students, and the Head owed him one. It's really a gross thing."

"So you're saying that Knoxie would allow the thugs in? Druid's Brahmins?"

Jim Gordon smiled cynically. "Well, I can't help but-Oh, there's Bruce, with a little blonde date at Starbucks!"

Leslie looked over and indeed Bruce Wayne and a pretty girl were sitting at a distant table. Bruce silently toasted Leslie and Jim with his beverage, and smiled.

Jim and Leslie toasted back, and grinned at each other.

"Wow, that kid's got moxie. When I was in seventh grade, I wouldn't have had the nerve to ask a girl like that for coffee. Leslie, a girl like you would have paralyzed me." Jim sipped his coffee. "Even now you do a bit."

"Well, Mister Romeo, if you'd known me then, you would have seen a clarinet toting fatty with a mouth full of steel. Trust me, I wasn't noticeable."

"Hah! I wish Selina was actually spending time with Bruce and his little friend. I kind of hoped that she would be trying to move up in the world, not wearing a hood and playing 'The Shadow Knows'."

Leslie smiled patiently. "Jim, I think Bruce and his friend probably want to be alone. At this age, you understand...by the way, I think that's the Mayor's niece."

"God I wonder who paid for the coffees?"

Leslie rolled her eyes. Jim was hopeless.


End file.
